Bible Verse 2

START YOUR DAY BY READING THE BIBLE.

‎2 Chro. 7:14

 "If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land."

Luke 11:13

"If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will YOUR heavenly father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him!" 

Mark 8:34-35

Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it." 

Hebrews 13:5

Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God said, never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.

Psalm 28:7

The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in him, and I am helped: therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise him.

EKSENA SA JEEP

EKSENA SA JEEP...

Girl: Nong, bayad!
Driver: pila ning 50 day?
Girl: 1 kuya! estudyante, nursing, ateneo, bag.ong SAKAY!
Boy: (GIHILASAN, Nibayad ug 500)
Driver: (nasuko) pila ning 500?!
Boy: 1 nong, KEEP THE CHANGE! seaman, bag.ong ABOT!
Buang: (nikatawa, nitunol ug 1000) nong bayad!
Driver: (Suko kaau) peste pila ni?
Buang: 3, apilang nurse og seaman. KEEP THE CHANGE!, buang, mental gikan, bag.ong GAWAS!
hahahaha

REPLY NI MS. LT SA TWITTER

OMG! as in OH MY GEHD! halos everyday akong nagtutweet kay Ms Lorna Tolentino at kanina lang nagREPLY xa sa tweet ko! OMG!! parang maloloka na ako sa tweet nya how much more if nakita ko sya sa personal!? GOSH!

BOBS by Skechers

BUY A PAIR OF BOBS AND SKECHERS WILL DONATE A PAIR TO A CHILD IN NEED.

I bought a pair of Bobs a while ago. I really want to have a pair of TONE-UPS by Skechers and not the Bobs but a thought entered my mind while weighing which of the two. Tone-ups is not allowed to be worn in school so the decision was made.

When I arrived home, I open the box and I just found out the Skechers Philosophy:

"BUY A PAIR, GIVE A SECOND PAIR TO A CHILD IN NEED"

Then I realized that I just helped a less fortunate child to have a pair of shoes. 

SA MATH CLASS---msg from my inbox.

SA MATH CLASS
Titser: Kung naa koy 1 ka piraso na karne ug tungaon nko, pila na?
Pedro: 2 mam!
T: kung tungaon pa nko pareho?
P: 4 na mam!
T:tungaon pjud nko?
P:8 mam!
T:tungaon pjud nko?
P:16 mam!
T:tungaon pjud?
P:32 mam!
T: Tungaon pjud?
P: 64! (naglagot na!)
T:ug tungaon pjud nko ikaduha?
P: ipaGILING nlang na mam kay MALANGAN ta!
hahahaha

Inspirational Quotes-- from my inbox2

"If there is a time when heaven

seems silent to your PRAYERS,

GOD is making it quiet for you to hear

the RUSHING SOUND of HIS GRACE"

----

THINK ABOUT THIS:

There  is always someone better than YOU

Someone more attractive than YOU

Someone smarter than YOU

Someone one step ahead of YOU

But the one who is better than YOU may just

be the lonliest person.

The one who is more attractive than YOU 

may not be so attractive in the inside.

And the person smarter than YOU may not have the love

you receive from others.

SO NEVER BE THE  JEALOUS ONE.

"LOVE what you have and LOVE who you are!"

May 16- MINSAN LANG KITA IIBIGIN

Tonight's episode was breath-taking! Di ako makahinga ng magkita si Joaquin at Javier at ng sumuko si Ka Elena/Remedios. Ang galing talaga ng teleseryeng ito! Talbog lahat ng mga teleserye sa lahat ng stasyon! Kakaiba! I can't wait for the next day's episodes. It really makes my night extra exciting! I find it very addictive! Mabuti nlang at sa teleserye ako naaadik kesa sa mga bisyo. hahahahaha. Ano na kaya ang susunod na mangyari kay Alondra! Gusto ko na talagang magkaharap ang kambal at si Lora at Joaquin, isama mo na ang General at Ka Elena.. silang lahat na lang para mas exciting ang tagpo!

Dalacin C + Eskinol: HOW EFFECTIVE?

How Effective dalcin c + eskinol combination? I haven't tried it yet but I will because of the positive feedbacks I've heard from friends and in the internet. Dumadami na talaga ang pimples sa face ko lalo na pag matagal ako natutulog. I often put TOOTHPASTE to cool my pimple. They say it will help your pimple not to grow bigger because of the soothing effect. And I can say that its effective but Im afraid that it would lead to other side effects. I heard from the TV that TOOTHPASTE can be harmful to our face. Yeah, it has a cooling effect but the substance/chemicals that are present in the toothpaste can enter into our pores and is harmful.  

SAD STORIES from my INBOX

While dad was polishing his new car,

his 4 years old son pick up a stone and scratch lines on the side of the car.

In his fist of anger, dad took the child's hand and hit it many times,

didn't realize that he hit the child's hands with a wrenc.

At the hospital the child ask

"when will my hands grow back?".

Dad was so hurt, he went back to the car

and kick the car a lot of times, sitting back...

he look at the scratches the child made.

It read "I LOVE YOU DADDY".

:(

-----

A little girl and her dad were crossin' a bridge. Dad was kind of scared so he ask his daughter

"Honey, please hold my hand so that you won't fall into the river"

The girl said "No dad, you hold my hand."

Her dad asked "what's the difference?"

The girl replied "there's a big difference...if I hold your hand and something happen to you, chances that 

I may let your hand go. But if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter happens, you'll never let my hands go."

In any relationship, the essence of trust is not in its bind, but its BOND.

NOON at NGAYON

NOON: Pag maganda, liligawan agad.
NGAYON: Pag maganda, tinititigan muna baka bakla.

NOON: Konti lang ang lalaking gwapo.
NGAYON:Konting gwapo na lang ang tunay na lalaki.

NOON: Pag gwapo, babaero.
NGAYON: Pati mga panget babaero na din. Minsan, choosy pa!

NOON: Hintaying bumilog ang buwan bago magpakasal.


ahahahahhaaNGAYON: Hintaying bumilog ang tyan para magpakasal.

VICE GANDA JOKES 3

SA RESTAURANT 2
VICE: (pumasok, umupo)
WAITER: Sir, kakain po kayo?
VICE: Ay hindi, magluluto ako, tutulungan ko chef nyo.. kakahiya naman naki-upo lang ako dito.. gusto mo tulungan pa kiya sa mga customers nyo? galing noh? aasenso na business nyo tapos nagutom pa ako!
---

SA OPISINA
VICE: ipasok mo nga dito yung mga papers ko!
SECRETARY: San ko po ipapasok Sir? dito sa loob?
VICE: Hindi, dun sa labas, ipasok nga diba?pwede bang ipasok sa labas?sige nga subukan mong ipasok dun sa labas

---
VICE INUUBO
Vice: UHOOO!! UHOO!
Kuya Kim: Inuubo ka Vice?
Vice: Hindi, sinisipon! gusto ko lang maiba.. UHOO! UHOOOO!

----

SA INTERNET SHOP
Vice: kuya paExtend..
Kuya: ng time?
Vice: Hindi, yung computer paExtend ng cord para mauwi ko sa bahay.. dun nlng ako maglalaro! Pa-OUT na nga lang!
Kuya: Sayo po?
Vice: Hindi, sa katabi ko! ikaw nga subukan mong iOUT yang sa iyo!
hahahha

---

VICE GANDA JOKES 2

SA SWIMMING POOL
GUARD: Maliligo po kayo Ma'am?
VICE GANDA: Ay hindi! MangHihilamos lang ako!
hahahaha
---


SA RESTAURANT
WAITRESS: Would you care for a drink ma'am?
VICE GANDA: I DON'T CARE! waitress na to maraming tanong!
----


VICE NAKAKITA NG GWAPO
VICE GANDA: Hi, ano pangalan mo?
GWAPO: Ako po?
VICE GANDA: Hindi sila, may nakikita ka pa bang tao? Malamang ikaw, ang tanga.
hahahha


---


Sumakay siya ng jeep na walang laman papuntang palengke
Vice: Manong bayad po.
Manong: Ilan ito?
Vice: Ay manong dalawa yan, nakakahiya kasi sayo, kahit ako lang mag-isa sakay mo, dalawa na ibabayad ko, libre na kita kahit sayo 'tong jeep.
hahahhaha
---


Bababa na sya
Vice: Manong, para.
Manong: Bababa ka na?
Vice: Ay hindi manong, sasakay ako. Sasakay ako ulit, dun naman ako sa bubong, mas presko kasi dun.
hahaha


---

VICE GANDA JOKES

Si VICE GANDA at ang HOLDAPER ..
H: Hold-up to!
VG: And so? Wlang ngttanong.
H: SABING HOLD-UP TO EH!
...VG: so dapat pingsisigwan?
H: Hold-up nga to! Hold-up! Hold-up!
VG: Paulit-ulit? Unli tayo?
H: di ka ttahimik ppatayin kita!
VG: ano to, kalokohan? Akala ko hold-up tapos patayan na? Ano to, 2 in 1? Special o regular?
H: Waaah! Bhla ka, Aalis na lang ako!
VG: Ay ganon? Walk out? Di pa tayo tapos! Bumalik ka dito!

Verse of the DAY

"Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask

when you PRAY,

BELIEVE that you RECEIVE THEM

and you will HAVE them"

MARK 11:24


I have been crucified with Christ
and I no longer live,
but Christ lives in me. 
The life I live in the body,
I live by faith in the Son of God, 
who loved me and gave Himself for me. 
- 
Galatians 2:20 

BULAK SA PATAY

Ngano ang bulak sa kasal gina-itsa?
unya kung kinsa ang makasalo, mao daw ang sunod nga ikasal.
Ngano dili pud nila
i-try ug itsa ang BULAK SA PATAY?
para mahibal-an kung kinsa ang sunod nga MAMATAY,diba?
Para maandaman ang LAMAY...
hahahahaha

STUDENT-PROFESSOR CONVERSATION ABOUT GOD

VERY INTERESTING CONVERSATION (Pls read til the end :)) ENJOY!!

An Atheist Professor of Philosophy was speaking to ...his Class on the Problem Science has

with GOD, the ALMIGHTY. He asked one of his New Christian Students to stand and . . .

Professor : You are a Christian, aren't you, son ?

Student : Yes, sir.

Professor: So, you Believe in GOD ?

Student : Absolutely, sir.

Professor: Is GOD Good ?

Student : Sure.

Professor: Is GOD ALL - POWERFUL ?

Student : Yes.

Professor: My Brother died of Cancer even though he Prayed to GOD to Heal him.

Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill.

But GOD didn't. How is this GOD good then? Hmm?

(Student was silent )

Professor: You can't answer, can you ? Let's start again, Young Fella.

Is GOD Good?

Student : Yes.

Professor: Is Satan good ?

Student : No.

Professor: Where does Satan come from ?

Student : From . . . GOD . . .

Professor: That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this World?

Student : Yes.

Professor: Evil is everywhere, isn't it ? And GOD did make everything. Correct?

Student : Yes.

Professor: So who created evil ?

(Student did not answer)

Professor: Is there Sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness?

All these terrible things exist in the World, don't they?

Student : Yes, sir.

Professor: So, who Created them ?

(Student had no answer)

Professor: Science says you have 5 Senses you use to Identify and Observe the World around you.

Tell me, son . . . Have you ever Seen GOD?

Student : No, sir.

Professor: Tell us if you have ever Heard your GOD?

Student : No , sir.

Professor: Have you ever Felt your GOD, Tasted your GOD, Smelt your GOD?

Have you ever had any Sensory Perception of GOD for that matter?

Student : No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.

Professor: Yet you still Believe in HIM?

Student : Yes.

Professor : According to Empirical, Testable, Demonstrable Protocol,

Science says your GOD doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?

Student : Nothing. I only have my Faith.

Professor: Yes,Faith. And that is the Problem Science has.

Student : Professor, is there such a thing as Heat?

Professor: Yes.

Student : And is there such a thing as Cold?

Professor: Yes.

Student : No, sir. There isn't.

(The Lecture Theatre became very quiet with this turn of events )

Student : Sir, you can have Lots of Heat, even More Heat, Superheat, Mega Heat, White Heat,

a Little Heat or No Heat.

But we don't have anything called Cold.

We can hit 458 Degrees below Zero which is No Heat, but we can't go any further after that.

There is no such thing as Cold.

Cold is only a Word we use to describe the Absence of Heat.

We cannot Measure Cold.

Heat is Energy.

Cold is Not the Opposite of Heat, sir, just the Absence of it.

(There was Pin-Drop Silence in the Lecture Theatre )

Student : What about Darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as Darkness?

Professor: Yes. What is Night if there isn't Darkness?

Student : You're wrong again, sir.

Darkness is the Absence of Something

You can have Low Light, Normal Light, Bright Light, Flashing Light . . .

But if you have No Light constantly, you have nothing and its called Darkness, isn't it?

In reality, Darkness isn't.

If it is, were you would be able to make Darkness Darker, wouldn't you?

Professor: So what is the point you are making, Young Man ?

Student : Sir, my point is your Philosophical Premise is flawed.

Professor: Flawed ? Can you explain how?

Student : Sir, you are working on the Premise of Duality.

You argue there is Life and then there is Death, a Good GOD and a Bad GOD.

You are viewing the Concept of GOD as something finite, something we can measure.

Sir, Science can't even explain a Thought.

It uses Electricity and Magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one.

To view Death as the Opposite of Life is to be ignorant of the fact that

Death cannot exist as a Substantive Thing.

Death is Not the Opposite of Life: just the Absence of it.

Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your Students that they evolved from a Monkey?

Professor: If you are referring to the Natural Evolutionary Process, yes, of course, I do.

Student : Have you ever observed Evolution with your own eyes, sir?

(The Professor shook his head with a Smile, beginning to realize where the Argument was going )

Student : Since no one has ever observed the Process of Evolution at work and

Cannot even prove that this Process is an On-Going Endeavor,

Are you not teaching your Opinion, sir?

Are you not a Scientist but a Preacher?

(The Class was in Uproar )

Student : Is there anyone in the Class who has ever seen the Professor's Brain?

(The Class broke out into Laughter )

Student : Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor's Brain, Felt it, touched or Smelt it? . . .

No one appears to have done so.

So, according to the Established Rules of Empirical, Stable, Demonstrable Protocol,

Science says that You have No Brain, sir.

With all due respect, sir, how do we then Trust your Lectures, sir?

(The Room was Silent. The Professor stared at the Student, his face unfathomable)

Professor: I guess you'll have to take them on Faith, son.

Student : That is it sir . . . Exactly !

The Link between Man & GOD is FAITH.

That is all that Keeps Things Alive and Moving.

*************************************************

I believe you have enjoyed the conversation, and if so,

you'll probably want your friends/colleagues to enjoy the same. Won't you?

Forward them to increase their knowledge, or FAITH.

That student was Albert Einstein. :)

FACTS

AMAZING FATCS:


Chocolate contains phenylethylamine (PEA), a natural substance that is reputed to stimulate the same reaction in the body as falling in love. <3


The melting point of cocoa butter is just below the human body temperature -- which is why it literally melts in your mouth.


Honey is the only food that does not spoil. Honey found in the tombs of Egyptian pharaohs has been tasted by archaeologists and found edible.


Sushi was created in the 4th century BC in China, not Japan as many believe. Sushi was originally a means of preserving fish.


Chocolate can ease a cough. It contains Theobromine which suppresses activity in the vagus nerve which causes coughing.

FACEBOOK CITYVILLE

FACEBOOK is really addicting! Labi na ang mga DULA... one of the FASTEST GROWING GAMES is CITYVILLE. MakaADDICT jud sya na dula..dili ikaLIMUD. Dili jud sya katingalahan nga daghan sya ug USERS tungod kay GWAPO jud sya na dula ug makaLINGAW.

SECRET- Heart

We lead two different lives
Just like two lines that never cross
And here we are together
Standing closer than we are
But we're still standing here untouched
Too scared to make a move
We want so much to touch
And we can't wait forever
We know it's dangerous
For us to be together

How do we ever keep this secret
How do we keep it in the dark
And if we dare to taste our weakness
How could we tear ourselves apart
Why do we keep this love together
Didn't we know right from the start
That we would have to keep this secret
Or forever stay apart

I watch you coming to me
Walking in the pouring rain
I can't help looking at you
Wishing I could stay away
So many times I've tried in vain
To close my eyes and pray it goes away
But I can't stop myself from feeling
To let you go would be too much
For me to take



How do we ever keep this secret
How do we deep it in the dark
And if we dare to taste our weakness
How could we tear ourselves apart
Why do we keep this love together
Didn't we know right from the start
That we would have to keep this secret
Or forever stay apart

I can't help thinking
When I look into your eyes
How much I need you
It's so hard to hide

How do we ever keep this secret
How do we keep it in the dark
And if we dare to taste our weakness
How could we tear ourselves apart
Why do we keep this love together
Didn't we know right from the start
That we would have to keep this secret
Or be doomed to stay apart

MINSAN LANG KITA IIBIGIN

MINSAN LANG KITA IIBIGIN WEBISODES is now available. Gosh ui! nganong makaADIK man ning MINSAN! Ambot kung asa ko naADIK, kay COC MARTIN or sa UNIQUE NA STORY? uhhhm.. maybe BOTH. ABS-CBN is really the BEST in all field most especially when it comes to TELESERYE. They really know what people wants. And the story they created is realistic and usually happens to our daily lives... in short MAKA-RELATE ang MANAN-AW. :))

God's Time

"God is always on time.

Never behind and never ahead.

Happy is the person who learns to wait as he/she prays, 

for GOD's TIME is the best time."

WHAT A GIRL WANTS

  SKECHERS TONE UPS FOR WOMEN-- I'll buy this one soon. Its so easy to save money when you really wish to have what it is you are saving for. I will really buy another one because GITANGAG SA IRO AKONG DAAN. animels!

SONY VAIO NOTEBOOK-- It is really helpful when you are student. I dreamed of having this one..but I can't afford. I'll just wait when MAKADAOG ko ug LOTTO!hahahha


 NIKON D90-- Its everyone's wish of having. I doubt that you don't WANT it, who don't? I wish I have this... I will.. in God's TIME.. :)

Nikon D90

Nikon D90 12.3MP DX-Format CMOS Digital SLR Camera with 18-105mm f/3.5-5.6G ED AF-S VR DX Nikkor Zoom Lens

I really wish of having this. hahai. PANGARAP NA LANG. Pero maningkamot jud ko ug ESKWELA aron naay gwapong trabaho, aron mapalit nko akong tanan GUSTO. It'll be mine at the right time. Maybe its not yet my TIME because I still don't have job and I don't earn much, not yet. Mas maayo na magKaroon ko ug ing-ani nga gikan jud sa akong SINGOT (hahaha. di kaha sya moPARAT?!) Well, anyways.. for those who dreams of having this one... just wait and you'll have one!

Jokes bisaya 4

Si MARK ngbaktas padulong sa BALETE DRIVE
"Mark! Mark!" nilingi si MARK pro wlay tao, niDAGAN si MARK.
Pag-abot sa kanto nkita nya ang karatula "BEWARE SA BUNGI NGA IRO". :))

hahahhahha

------

isang gabi sumakay ako sa jeep.Lahat ng pasahero nkatitig sa akin,wlang umimik. Sinubukan kung mgbyad pro di nla inabot ang pera ko.Kinilabutan ako.may isng matandang bunulong sa akin,
"di kna dpat naparito.umalis kana habang may oras kapa"
Napalunok ako,Ano 'ho ang ibig nyong sabihin? "PAKYAW namo ning jeep." :))

KAULAW!!!

-----------

A guy was secretly inlove with his bestfriend.. Guy sees a falling star..
GUY:i wish my bestfrnd wud know my feelings!
STAR: y wont u tell ur bstfrnd about ur feelings?
GUY: SHOANG! shudi mg-ana bayet..ed di mka knows c pare nga UYOTCH juken! awkward na nuon. gaga! :))

dakong KAPALPAKAN!!

-------

Jokes bisaya 3--- from my old blog

Ang pinakalisud nga panguntana: “musud ka?”
Ang makatintal nga tubag: “ikaw?”
Maka pressure nga tubag: “ug di ka musud, di sad ko”
Da best nga tubag: “ambot lang, depende!”
Which results to: nah! Di na lang tah manud oy…minor ra bitaw pud…hahahha
-------------


Boy: Prangkahi ko hah bayhana ka! Duha nako ka buwan nanguyab nimo! Sugton ko nimo or dili?
Girl: Dili! Kay bati rah kah kau ug nawong!
Boy: Ahh! Grabeha pud ka! Prangka rah pud ka kau…hahaha
------------


Tatay: doy,ngano gahilak man ka?
Anak: Tay,nakapasar man gud ko sa test!
Tatay: Ayus ! bright jud na akung anak ui, unsa man na subject ,nak.
Anak: sa PREGNANCY TEST, Tay !
bastos nga anak! hahahahah


------------


Tag-iya: Hoy! kawatan,ambak diha! Ikaw diay tig-pangawatsa akong lubi ha!
Kawatan: Kung sakpan gani, sakpan. Di kay mangurat. Ug matagak ko. Ipapriso Taka!
ahahahahha


-------------


Pare1: pre! dakoa gud nmo ug NGISI?
Pare2: gadamgo ko gbie.nagkuyog kuno tah!
Pare1:nya,unsa may problema ana?
Pare2:wala rman.. GIKILIG ra ko! :))
bayeeeeeeeeeeet!
------------

Bible Verse

If God is with us, who can be against us?-- Romans 8:31


---


GO HOME, AND WHAT YOU BELIEVE WILL BE DONE UNTO YOU. --Matthew 8:13. 


---




If you pay attention when you are CORRECTED, you are WISE.--- Proverbs 15:31.




---


In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. -- John 1:1


----


Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me".-- John 14:6


---


For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God. --- Ephesians 2:8


----

Bisaya Jokes part 2

LOLO:Dong! tago kay padulong imong mga MAESTRA..niAbsent ra ba ka!
APO: hala lo! TAGO sad kay ako ra bang pasangil nga NAMATAY nka!
hahaha. BUANG BATAA! :)
ahahhaha
-----------


KILLER (nangumpisal): Padre, mangumpisal ko.
Padre: unsa imung sala Anak???
KILLER: akong gipangpatay ang mo tuo sa ginOo,
pause kadiyot
Killer: kaw padre mo tuo ka ug ginOo??
Padre: aw, sa-una pero karon jam2x nalang! 
ahahahhaha


----------


Anak: Pa, mangharos ko karon sa among klase..
Papa: Very good! Bright gyud ning bataa. Unsa man nga subject anak?
Anak: Kuan, Pa.. Cooking. Ako ang mangharos sa kamunggay..
binuang na bata!!


----------


Maestra: Nganong nag-away man mo?
Pedro: Si Juan man gud Maam, iya kong gihapak sa Scrub The Floor.
Juan: Si Pedro biyay nanguna ha. Iya kong gilabayan sa Erase The Board.
Maestra: Kung dili gani mo mopoyong duha, bitayon ta mong duha sa Bayang Magiliw!
 HAHHAHAHA


-------

Inspirational Quotes-- from my inbox.

"It is better to fail with pride than to have never tried"


"Don't limit your challenges - challenge your limits."


"Once you learn to quit, it becomes a habit."


"In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity."


"When things go wrong, as they sometimes will, 
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill, 
When the funds are low and the debts are high, 
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh, 
When care is pressing you down a bit, 
Rest, if you must, but don't you QUIT."

Istoryaheee- Banat Jokes

Girl: dad, boyfriend nako
Boy: good evening po sir.
Dad: uhm iho, ano ba ikinabubuhay mo?

Boy: ANAK NYO PO.
ESTORYAHEEEEEEE
---------
Boy: Miss, regards daw, Eddie..
Girl: kinsa guy Eddie ui?!
Boy: Eddie ako!
ESTORYAHEEEEE
----------


Boy: Miss, kechup ba ka?
Girl: unsa naman sad nag kaKornehan nmo?
Boy: gipangita nman gud ka sa akong hotdog.
ANIMAAAAL!


------------


Boy:mura ka'g energy drink
Girl:estoryahe na pod ko
Boy:dli oi..tinuod mani..imung nawong mura COBRA!
hahahahaha
-------------

Bisaya Jokes- from my cellphone inbox.

Doktor: aha naman ang sunod nga PASYENTE?
Nurse: akong gipauli dok.
Doktor: nganu man?
Nurse: Lain man gud daw iyang pamati.
hahahahaha
------------
Husband: Hon, musta na ang tindahan?
Wife: department store na!
Husband: ang tuba-an?
Wife: KTV bar na!
Husband: ang trickad?
Wife: taxi na!
Husband: ang dalawa kong anak?
Wife: lima na!
ahahhahahha
------------
Usa ka adlaw sa Lasang...
Reporter: Tarzan, giUnsa man nimo pagBuhat ug balay dra ibabaw sa punuan?
tarzan: Ambot kay gaBOARD rman sad ko dra.
wahahahhahaa
--------------
Nanay: Anak, Lutua ang Sardinas.
Anak: Nay, Himbisan pa nako?
Nanay: Apila ug tang-tang ang HASANG aron mainsakto ng imong KABULOK animala k!
hahahahha
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PINOY ADOBO- my own version.

1/2 kl. Pork (slice into cubes)
5 ka ahos/ garlic (smashed)
1 bumbay/onion (sliced)
1 baso nga tubig (I glass of water)
1/2 baso nga white vinegar (1/2 glass)
1/4 baso nga toyo (1/4 glass soy sauce)
1 sachet magic sarap
liso sa paminta
1 1/2 kutsara brown sugar (optional. kung gusto lang ka ug tam-is)

Unsaon:

Ibutang tanan ingredients sa karahay except sa sugar. I butang lang ang sugar inig niBukal na ang sabaw.
Lutua hantod nga tan-aw nmo luto na ang karne ug hantod gamay na lang ang nabilin sa sabaw.